Journaling was Recommended

In another version of this world, I’m probably preparing to head to Mongolia to take on the Gobi Desert March.

Instead, I’m here preparing for a root canal that is delaying a second surgery while I wait for the final phase of treatment…. radiation.

I’ve been away from running, and I’ll admit something that’s harder to say… I haven’t had the motivation or desire to sit at my desk and write either.

I finished chemotherapy and spent weeks recovering.  Then came surgery. I was given three weeks to heal, only to learn from the tumor pathology that I will need a second surgery. Now it’s a tooth abscess I’m focusing on.  Here I am again waiting this time for an endodontist appointment next week.   

I’ve been away from work for several weeks, but I’m ready to go back.  I need to feel useful again.  I need to feel like I’m contributing to the world.

Most of all, I’m grateful to still be here.

I’m surviving.

Some days, I’m not convinced I will.  Cancer treatment has a way of making you question tomorrow, even on your best days.  We keep going. We have no choice.

I’m beginning to realize and I should know better by now but life rarely unfolds according to our plans.  The path we imagined disappears, and suddenly we find ourselves somewhere we never intended to be.  That should never be a reason to quit.

We keep going.

Sometimes the detour-the path we never would have chosen, lead us to bigger adventures, better, and more unimaginable than the ones we have lost.