Doctor Appointment

At 4:15 p.m., I went in for a short notice doctor’s office visit. They called me into a small waiting room where the nurse checked my weight and vitals…120/60 blood pressure, 100% oxygen, and a resting heart rate of 52 bpm. “Looks good,” she said with a smile. “Dr. C. will be with you in just a minute,” she added in her soft Southern drawl.

I sat in the cold, refrigerator-like room, taking in its minimalist cleanliness, the bare walls, the neatly organized tools, the set of ear canal testers. It was quiet, almost too quiet, until the sliding door opened and Dr. C stepped inside.

“Hello,” she greeted.
“Howdy,” I replied, trying to lighten the mood.

“Now, I’m assuming they’ve already gone over this with you?” she asked gently.

I explained that I had received a call from the physician at the Mammography center. They confirmed it was not a cyst…it was a mass.

“Correct,” she said, glancing at the report. “They want you to get a biopsy, and that will be scheduled at a doctor’s office. I’d recommend N.F. They have two excellent doctors there, and one in particular has an excellent bedside manner.”

She looked at me carefully. “How do you feel about that?”

I told her that a friend had recommended a doctor at the F. , Dr. S., and that I would prefer the referral be sent to her office instead.

She nodded. “That’s fine. Just so you’re aware, if it turns out to be positive, the doctor’s office will take it out.”

“Positive?” I echoed.

“Cancer,” she clarified, hesitating, as though the word itself was heavy.

I had already noticed her body language when she entered, hesitant, with the kind of facial expressions that say I don’t want to have this conversation with my patient. The concern in her posture said the rest.

“Well, there’s still a chance it could be nothing, correct?” I asked.

“Yes, of course,” she assured me.

She reminded me that she had read biopsy reports before that turned out benign.

I told her, I’d remain optimistic that this too would amount to nothing.

I checked out, walked to my car, and drove home. But when I stepped out of the garage and made the short walk to my front door, the weight of it all finally hit me. In that hollow stretch of silence, I couldn’t help but shed a few tears.