life
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Wigs
The Oncologist told me I’d be losing my hair once treatment starts. It wasn’t something I wanted to hear. My hair has always felt like my life force….my own version of Samson’s strength…..and imagining myself without it felt devastating. But after the initial sting, I did what I’ve been doing with everything lately, I gathered… Continue reading
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Coping
Over a week of coughing up phlegm, speaking through a stale, worn-out voice. The flu is finally passing. Today, I ran a half-marathon just to quiet my mind. To breathe. To try to hold myself steady before the storm of this coming week. Soon, I’ll learn what comes next, treatment, work, life. The shape of… Continue reading
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Roadkill
Fifty-five miles per hour down a two-lane rural road.I caught it in my peripheral vision—right shoulder—front paws stretched, hind legs exploding across the asphalt. I glanced at the rear-view mirror; another vehicle trailed close behind. Stopping wasn’t an option.An oncoming car approached from ahead—swerving wasn’t an option either. Maybe it will stop.Maybe it will make… Continue reading
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64
Gadolinium, a rare-earth element forged in the violent deaths of ancient stars, will enter my bloodstream tomorrow. It feels surreal to think that something born billions of years ago, long before Earth even existed, is now being used to help diagnose what’s happening inside me. It will arrive already chelated, safely held in a molecular… Continue reading
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Carcinoma
5:30 a.m.I woke up and checked my email before my eyes were even fully open.A new test result has been posted…read the alert. I reached for my glasses on the nightstand, opened MyChart, and there it was….. the pathology results I’d been waiting on all weekend. Invasive carcinoma……Not the words I wanted to see. I… Continue reading
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Waiting
Waiting breeds anticipation.What is anticipation, really….at least in physiological terms? It’s the body’s quiet chemistry experiment: neurotransmitters surging, hormones firing, the amygdala alert. Cortisol and norepinephrine rise, with a delicate dash of dopamine, hope and fear mixing in the bloodstream. While those chemicals play their dance, the mind searches for distraction. Maybe by finishing that… Continue reading
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The Ancient City
I envisioned myself running into the ancient city of Karakorum…sweaty, salt-streaked, and stinking of seven days beneath the Mongolian sun. My pack bounced against my back as the crew clapped, cheering me toward the finish line. “You doing, OK?” someone called out. Then, suddenly, I was back. The sound faded, replaced by the hum of… Continue reading
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Exploring James Patterson’s Unstoppable Creativity
I found out today that James Patterson will be in town tomorrow. At home, I have a running joke about his Alex Cross series. I started reading the books after The Great American Read list came out a few years ago and decided I’d take on the challenge of reading all 33 of his novels… Continue reading
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My old Job
My old job just opened again, the one just 30 minutes from my home. It’s under new management now. Funny enough, the manager running it is the same one I was originally supposed to work with when I first got the position. Then she left, and I ended up with someone else. Someone tough to… Continue reading
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Navigating Healthcare Referrals: A Patient’s Journey
It’s Wednesday, and I still don’t have an appointment for my biopsy. I had been told to expect a call by today, but no such luck. At lunch time, I called Dr. S office.“No, ma’am, we don’t have the referral just yet,” said the kind administrator. “But let me go ahead and set up your… Continue reading
