Journaling was Recommended

Has it really been a year already?

A year ago, I wrote about navigating doctors and referrals. The process had begun leading me toward a journey I never imagined I would have to take.

Today, I find myself in good spirits, mainly because I have been able to run again. I just finished a 30-minute run on the hotel treadmill. My heart rate quickly climbed to 175 beats per minute, even at a slow jog, so I paced myself and simply enjoyed the movement. My joints creaked and ached a little, probably from the sedentary life I have been living throughout treatment but it still felt good to move.

A year ago, that referral process led to a diagnosis and treatment. Now, newly released from my third surgery, I am preparing for a fourth and a more aggressive option.

I tried to take the conservative approach, keeping optimism alive and hoping for the best outcome with as little intervention as possible. After three attempts, however, we have had no luck. Now, we are going full force, because I have no choice.

I have tried to keep living as much as possible in between surgeries and treatments, although they have often left me drained and with little energy for much of anything. For now, I am on a break of sorts, mentally preparing for what comes next.

I am treating it like a major race.

I have been active nearly every day since being released, and I am eating better to help lose the weight I gained during this time. My hair is growing back, and I decided to have it cut for a more polished appearance, although I still find myself wearing caps most days.

I am focusing on the present moment and trying to accomplish as much as I can, while remaining mindful that my body also needs better nutrition and rest. It has to be strong if I want it to carry me through the next phase.

My mind can handle it…..I think.

I will control what I can and have surrendered to what I can’t.