Journaling was Recommended

Unfolding life, one post at a time.

  • 64

    Gadolinium, a rare-earth element forged in the violent deaths of ancient stars, will enter my bloodstream tomorrow. It feels surreal to think that something born billions of years ago, long before Earth even existed, is now being used to help diagnose what’s happening inside me. It will arrive already chelated, safely held in a molecular… Continue reading

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  • Carcinoma

    5:30 a.m.I woke up and checked my email before my eyes were even fully open.A new test result has been posted…read the alert. I reached for my glasses on the nightstand, opened MyChart, and there it was….. the pathology results I’d been waiting on all weekend. Invasive carcinoma……Not the words I wanted to see. I… Continue reading

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  • Waiting

    Waiting breeds anticipation.What is anticipation, really….at least in physiological terms? It’s the body’s quiet chemistry experiment: neurotransmitters surging, hormones firing, the amygdala alert. Cortisol and norepinephrine rise, with a delicate dash of dopamine, hope and fear mixing in the bloodstream. While those chemicals play their dance, the mind searches for distraction. Maybe by finishing that… Continue reading

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  • The Ancient City

    I envisioned myself running into the ancient city of Karakorum…sweaty, salt-streaked, and stinking of seven days beneath the Mongolian sun. My pack bounced against my back as the crew clapped, cheering me toward the finish line. “You doing, OK?” someone called out. Then, suddenly, I was back. The sound faded, replaced by the hum of… Continue reading

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  • Surgical Specialists Wing

    This is where I met a man named Niles at reception. His nameplate gleamed under the soft lobby light as he greeted me and asked for my name. I was forty minutes early……pacing at home had done little to pass the time, so I left home just to get this visit over with. Niles took… Continue reading

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  • Exploring James Patterson’s Unstoppable Creativity

    I found out today that James Patterson will be in town tomorrow. At home, I have a running joke about his Alex Cross series. I started reading the books after The Great American Read list came out a few years ago and decided I’d take on the challenge of reading all 33 of his novels… Continue reading

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  • Same

    It’s been a while, hasn’t it?So much has shifted, yet in some ways everything feels the same. No biopsy after all…. a relief I didn’t realize I was holding my breath for.My husband is walking with a cane now, a small but meaningful victory.There’s a potential job on the horizon, though the long two-hour commute… Continue reading

  • The Power of Your Presence

    I want to see you. because beside you the world loses its edges and time forgets to move.Your presence is a soft, fierce quiet that sends me soaring;your energy charges me and makes me brave.You keep me going. You make me feel alive. Continue reading

  • My old Job

    My old job just opened again, the one just 30 minutes from my home. It’s under new management now. Funny enough, the manager running it is the same one I was originally supposed to work with when I first got the position. Then she left, and I ended up with someone else. Someone tough to… Continue reading

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  • Navigating Healthcare Referrals: A Patient’s Journey

    It’s Wednesday, and I still don’t have an appointment for my biopsy. I had been told to expect a call by today, but no such luck. At lunch time, I called Dr. S office.“No, ma’am, we don’t have the referral just yet,” said the kind administrator. “But let me go ahead and set up your… Continue reading

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